Best salad ever..... it got me out of work.

This is a salad that I learned as a culinary student. It's super easy and I've always had great feedback:

1 Lb fresh spinach

10-12 large basil leaves (fresh!)

1/3 cup *quality olive oil

2-4 cloves garlic, Very thinly sliced (2-4 depending on the garlic lovers in the crowd)

1/4 cup pine nuts

One lemon, zested and juiced

S+P ( fresh ground ALWAYS)

Thin sliced prosciutto (8oz or so) finely chopped

Mix fresh spinach and basil leaves in a large salad bowl.

Heat olive oil in small pan over low heat until warm.

Add garlic and pine nuts, and sauté until toasted.

Turn off heat, and add lemon juice, zest, and prosciutto and stir.

when the prosciutto looks crisped, pour over salad and toss with salt and pepper to taste.

*If you know any vegetarians, or pescetarians, you can nix the prosciutto. For Pescetarians, buy a high quality smoked salmon filet and crumble it over the top of the salad after you add the dressing.

BTW... my boss is a pescetarian and I made this with the smoked salmon for her... this salad got me a day off.

My love affair with wine.......

I started a new job this week, and I am in love.  Yes, it's sales, but my official title is "Wine Broker"...... mutha frickin Wine Broker.  Would any of you hear that title and say "Oh, that job sounds shitty."  HELL NO!  It is every job I've enjoyed rolled in to one.  Well, there aren't any puppies at this place, so, aside from the lack of puppies, it's awesome.  Now let me get to the best part of it.... I literally get to drink wines from the tiniest boutique vineyards all over the world, and I get to do this at work.  I call Doctors, Lawyers, and CEO's and say, "Let me tell you about this wine..... how do I know it's awesome?  Because I have a glass of it on my desk right now and I'm drooling over it, and so should you."  Yes, my job is a dream, but as lucky as I am, there was one downside, or so I thought.


I was sent home with a bottle of wine yesterday, as well as the 2 other new people, and we were told to "Write a pitch for this wine using all of the terms and things we learned about.  Look at the color, smell it, taste it, feel it, and write down everything you get from this wine."  So I thought, "Okay.  I did the best out of us newbies in the tastings at work, so this shouldn't be too hard."  WRONG!  I spent 2 hours smelling this wine, tasting and closing my eyes, and washing it around my mouth until my cheeks felt like Louis Armstrong's.... and NO,  I was not drunk, it was the same one glass.  This wine was so complex I thought I would never get anything down on paper, much less write a pitch.  After my initial frustration, I thought, "That's enough!  I know  these smells and tastes, I've cooked with them!  I'm raiding every cupboard in the kitchen until something clicks."  I must have smelled every spice, seasoning, fruit, vegetable, and assorted peppers and herbs until I was ready to pass out.  I finally got it down on paper, and even used some creative imagery to help my description (I was watching So You Think You Can Dance at the time of tasting).  I did a rough draft, edit, second edit, and then decided that that was the best I could do and went to bed hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

This morning, I got to work and asked my fellow newbies if they had as much trouble describing their wines as I did.  The conclusion was that we all had a tough time identifying smells, flavors, and textures, but we gave it our best shot...... except..... neither of them wrote down anything!  I'm like, "Uh, guys, this was an assignment for work!  Since when is it ok to not do your job?"  Of course, I didn't say that, but I was still shocked.  We go into our morning meeting, and they give the same answer of "Oh, we were supposed to write a pitch?"  Seriously, between the two of them they had maybe 6 actual adjectives that described their wines.  Still, my new boss was very positive and kind with constructive criticism, but took this as a teaching opportunity as well.  I remained silent and humble with my, "Well, I had the same problem with trying to find the right words for what I experienced, and mine is a bit over the top, and I'm not sure if I got all the flavors right, but here it goes"  and I bust out.....

2007 Rio Mendoza Cabernet Sauvignon 

Like the beautiful Argentine Tango, this red is not only graceful, but saucy and it will dance across your pallet.  The 2007 Rio Mendoza Cabernet Sauvignon is a true delight from our South American friends.  You'll fall in love right away when you gaze into a rich plum with a shimmering ruby edge.  The nose is a garden of aromas with cut yellow peppers, anise, fennel, and summer berries.  Upon first sip, this wine plays the trickster and is so fruit-filled it seems it will be sweet, but then a wave of Pink Lady apple, cherry, green tea, and a tiny touch of vanilla washes around your mouth.  A complex red is not often called refreshing, but this delicate cab has a white pepper and bright grassy finish that will open your eyes and breath in new life.  It pours and drinks so easily that it will undoubtedly become a go-to favorite for even the most diverse and discerning enthusiasts.  An absolute treasure to be cherished.  

Money can't buy the expression I saw on my coworkers faces ( jaw dropping shock), and I was removed from any self-doubt when I saw my boss give me a smile that said, "I know you worked really hard, and you put yourself into this.  You did a great job and I'm proud of you."  Even though her face said that, she simply said, "I think you found good words to use, and you gave me a clear picture of the wine.  Nice job!"

The excitement and self achievement I have felt this past week is an experience that I wish everyone could feel at least once.  Wondering if you're even decent at something, and then having the experts say, "You, yeah, YOU, are very very good." is just unbelievable.  Cheers to all. 

GED test, or, why it's also known as the "Good Enough Diploma"

After many years of procrastinating, I have finally started GED testing.  I completed the Science and Social Studies sections earlier in May, and today was the Writing test.  The following is what I experienced while taking the test....

First, you are given instructions as to the proper way of filling out the form.  The name, date, and birthday parts are pretty self explanatory, but bubbling in which alpha-numeric test you are taking does necessitate some simple instructions from the teacher administering the test.  Some people had somewhat silly questions, but I reminded myself that they may have been day-dreaming (as I often do), or may not have the same grasp of the English language that I have, and I should remain patient and calm.  After filling out the information needed for identity purposes, we were then told that we have 70 minutes for the multiple choice section (containing 50 questions), and 50 minutes for the essay section.  I was a little nervous, considering that the last writing test I took was roughly 10 years ago, but my mind was at ease once I discovered the material was, well, less than challenging.

The first section included several fictional excerpts from articles about "The Joy of Camping", or add's promoting "Morty's Motor Magicians!" followed by roughly 10 questions regarding structure, grammar, and capitalization of proper nouns and the like.  For example:

22.  Sentence (4) "You be discover the beauty of nature when you hike along the trails between the great Pine trees."  would be best written if you...

A. leave the sentence as is.

B. change "the great Pine trees" to "The Great PINE Trees"

C. put a comma after "beauty of".

D. change "the trails" to "you're trail's"

E. change "You be" to "You will"

My inner thoughts about each of the answers were...

Alright, it can't be "A" because that sounds like something "The Situation" would say, and there is no effing possibility that is correct.  "B" just looks like I'm being yelled at about PINES, almost as if it's one of those atrocious air-fresheners for your car.  When I read the sentence with the change answer "C" would make, I sound like someone with ADD who has lost my place mid-thought.  It can't be "D" because that just makes "you're" and "trail's" conflicting in what would be their possessive roles.  The answer is most definitely "E", because the rest of the answers are just nonsense.  

And so went the multiple choice section for the next 25 - 30 minutes.  I felt a great sense of accomplishment when I finished the multiple choice in half of the allotted time given, and proceeded to the essay section as I was told by the administrator. 

Each person taking the test had a different essay question or statement, and set of instructions regarding that question.  My essay title was, "People use different ways to solve a problem" and my instructions were, "Write an essay about a time you had a problem, and the steps you took to solve it."  I won't go into a lengthy description of how I analyzed this, since my essay addressed that issue, or should I say, "problem".  The following is a paraphrase of my essay, since I was not allowed to take any testing materials with me... even the scratch paper...

My essay is about a time I was faced with a problem, and the steps I took to solve it.  Before I begin, I must address the fact that the title of the essay "People use different ways to solve a problem", and the instructions following have little to do with each other.  By that I mean, the title states that people are different when solving a problem, but the instructions dictate that I am to discuss a time and step by step process of overcoming a personal obstacle.  This, in itself, is a problem, and what I wish to address in this essay.

"People use different ways to solve a problem."  I have concluded that this statement is true.  Because no two people think exactly alike, we all access and resolve problems through a progression of logical thought that makes the most sense to us as individuals.  Therefore, when people are presented with a problem, we may have different results as to what may be the best answer.  I believe that when presented with a problem, this difference amongst us is what will bring us to a collaboration of many great solutions to one problem, in addition to an abundance of eclectic ideas. 

As for a time when I was presented with a problem that I had to solve, I recall one instance when I was taking a test and the essay question conflicted with the instructions given to me.  After being presented with what seemed to be confusing information, the first step I took was re-reading the instructions.  After gaining a better understanding of what was being asked, I dissected the question and instructions separately.  I decided the best solution was to address both the question and instructions, so that I may "cover all my bases", as they say.  I then solved the problem by constructing a well thought out, and concise essay regarding the topic.

In conclusion, we all solve problems in a different way.  Some of us are presented with a problem, and think through it in a linear step by step process.  Some people are presented with a problem, take it apart, answer said parts to the best of their ability, and hope the rest just turns out for the best.  I, however, like to tackle problems with a clear understanding of what the challenges are, and come up with multiple solutions.  This way, I ensure the best outcome no matter what, since I have devised several logical outcomes.  So far, this tactic has worked quite well for me.

After I turned in my test, I was concerned that whoever was grading my test might find the context "smart ass-y" and I wouldn't pass, so I asked my instructor, "I was wondering, for the essay section, are we graded on the context of our essay, or the proper use of the English language?"  to which she replied, "You can talk about whatever you want, as long as you have a decent use of grammar, punctuation, and an overall understanding of the English language in your essay, you'll do just fine."  

The wave of relief I felt was amazing.  I advised my instructor, "If you have time, I think you'll get a kick out of my essay."  I left the testing room and went to the adjacent Ladies room.  Upon my exit of the Ladies room, I heard one woman's laughter coming from the testing room, which I can only believe to be the teacher's.  

All in all, today was a great, and educational, day.

Apple Pie

I made apple pie last Tuesday for a Mardi Gras potluck.  After getting a heartfelt note from my lovely friend, and fellow food enthusiast, Claire, I sent her the recipe.  I'll update this post with pictures soon, but for now, I will also share the recipe with you!  It's actually very easy, but the hard part is technique.  Making pie crust is very specific, and it can turn into (what my instructor called) "glue" before you know it.  I cheat a little and use a Cuisinart to cut the butter into the flour.  I tried to write down exactly what I do, and I put little notes in that I took/remembered from school.  
By the way, if you are one of "those" cooks who keeps your recipes secret, get over yourself.  Not to be mean, but why would you keep something wonderful a secret?  It is my belief that great food is like art.  Wouldn't you like to see the Mona Lisa in a museum rather than know it's hidden away somewhere in someones house?  Besides, everyone, and every kitchen is different.  Even if I make the same dish, side by side with someone else, the end result will still taste different.  So, with out further delay, Apple Pie....

Apple Pie

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F

Crust:

*This will make 1 bottom and 1 top crust.

1 1/4 cups flour, plus more for rolling

1/2 tsp. salt

Pinch of sugar

*One of my "pinches" is my thumb and first three fingers.

4oz (one stick) unsalted butter cut into cubes

*Using unsalted butter allows you to control how salty the crust will be, since you can add salt until it fits your taste.

1/4 cup ice water

Step 1: 

Take your chilled stick of butter and cut it lengthwise into four quarter sticks, then cut crosswise into 1/2 inch cubes.  Put the cubed butter back in the fridge for 30 min or until very firm.

Step 2:

Combine the dry ingredients. 

Step 3:

>If using a food processor, put in the dry ingredients + butter and pulse until it looks like wet sand.  This happens quickly, in about 5 - 10 one second pulses.  If you have a couple small lumps of butter still in the mix, don't worry about it.  It’s better to under mix than over do it.

>If mixing by hand, put the dry ingredients + cubed butter into a large bowl.  *I always wash my hands in super chilled water until my fingers feel cold right before mixing.  Using only your fingertips, cut the butter into the flour until it looks like wet sand.

Step 4:

Get a glass of ice water.  Pour in 1/8 cup and mix with your finger tips until you see the dough start to come together.  Add a Tbsp at a time until the dough barely holds in a large ball.  Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and press flat into 2 thick disks (if one is slightly larger, remember to use that one for the bottom crust).  If the edges are cracking, gently press them in using a cupped hand, and your other hand lightly pressing down on the dough disk.  Wrap the disks in plastic and put them in the fridge for 1 hour.

Filling:

*Okay, this you can do right after you put your crust in the fridge to chill.

Apples

*If you have "softball size" apples, you'll need about 3.  If they are "baseball size", you'll need 4.  Also, use a thin skinned apple, such as Pink Lady or Fuji. 

Lemon Juice

Apple Juice

Light Brown Sugar

Cinnamon

Nutmeg (freshly grated please)

Orange Zest (roughly ½ a large orange)

1 – 2 Tbsp Flour

Step 1:

Cut the apples in half and core them, but leave the skin on so they hold themselves together later on.  Slice them 1/8 inch thick (use a mandolin or slicer, it goes 100 times faster and you get perfect slices) and place them in a large bowl.  *I usually discard (eat) the slices on the end that are mostly skin and odd shaped.  You should end up with a little more than 3 cups.

Step 2:

Add 1 -2 Tbsp of lemon juice to apples.  Using a high quality (organic or unfiltered *I like Trader Joes Brand) apple juice, cover the apples until they are all submerged. *You might need to use a bowl or weight to keep them from floating.  Let them soak while your pie crust is chilling, 45 min – 1 hour.

Step 3:

*Take your crust out of the fridge at this point, but leave it wrapped in plastic.

Strain the apples, but don’t let them dry!  Immediately put about ¼ - 1/3 cup brown sugar over them and fold with a spatula (or your hands) until coated.  The apple slices should look “dirty” but not completely covered in sugar.

Step 4:

This is when you sprinkle on the Cinnamon (about 1 Tbsp), freshly grated nutmeg (about ¼ - ½ tsp), and orange zest.  Fold and mix until you see little flecks of orange zest evenly spread all over the apples.

Step 5:

TASTE THE APPLES.  I can’t begin to say how important this is.  Grab a slice and take a bite.  Ask yourself, “Does this taste beautiful?  Do I want it to be spicier and add more cinnamon?  Is it too tart and do I need more sugar?  Do I get an aroma of orange zest?  Can I detect the sweet, nutty smokiness of nutmeg?”  This is when you make the pie YOURS.  There’s nothing in the filling at this point that has to be cooked in order to taste it, so sample away!

Step 6:

Sprinkle over with 1 – 2 Tbsp flour until it has obsorbed the juices that have probably started to form at the bottom of the bowl.  Fold/mix well until your apples look like they have a very light, thin sauce on them.

All Together Now!

Step 1:

Flour your work surface and rolling pin lightly and unwrap the first dough disk.  Place it on the floured surface and sprinkle a little four on top.

*This next step is very important!  You get ONE shot at rolling out the dough.  You cannot lump it back together and start over if you mess up.  Over folding, or (God forbid) kneading, the dough will create gluten strands and your dough will turn into glue.  A butter based pie crust should crumble when it’s done, not snap. 

Step 2:

Place your rolling pin in the middle of the disk and roll away from yourself pressing down just enough to spread the dough slightly.  Turning the disk 1/6 of a turn, continue to roll it out until it fits the pie dish with some edge hanging over. 

Step 3:

Pour in the apple filling and even it out.  Roll out the top crust, and gently lay over the top.  Leaving enough dough to seal the pie, trim the edges and then pinch together.  Cut a small X in the middle of the top crust and bake for 40 min.

Step 4:

Beat one egg in a small bowl.  Take the pie out after 40 min and brush with the beaten egg until glossy, then sprinkle liberally with sugar.  Put the pie back in the oven for another 10 – 15 min until golden brown and glistening on top.

Allow to cool, top with a spoonful of Creme Fraiche (or vanilla ice cream) and enjoy!

Amnesia

One day, my guy shows me this youtube clip of a game called Amnesia: The Dark Descent.  I watched it, and it was very frightening.  So, boyfriend then informed me that you "have to" play it in the dark, and with headphones.  This, I then told him, is a terrible idea.  Why would anyone WANT to scare them self that badly?  Who is this stupid?  To put the icing on the cake, he suggested I try this.  Below is my well thought out interpretation of what would happen if I ever play Amnesia.......

I will never, ever, play Amnesia.

Food Coma

This past Thanksgiving I ate way more than I should've, just like everyone else who ever had a Thanksgiving dinner.  Later that night, I went on Facebook and saw posts like, "OMG. Food Coma! lols!" and "Turkey overload! Food Coma!".  After about the 1,000th time I read a post like that, it got really annoying, so I made this to put things in perspective.... A very twisted, but interesting perspective....

I realized after I finished this drawing, that I made the characters a mire-poix.  I can say it.... I amaze myself sometimes.

Love my BF

So, I woke up this am depressed as hell.  I get on gchat and talk to my bf for a little bit.  He said something and then I was all, "OMG! F U!".  After a cig and time to think, I wrote him an email that was all, "I'm sorry I'm a crazy bitch, but waa waa life is hard!"  to which he replied something like "yes, but that is why I'm here for you. <3 "  To show my gratitude, I made this.....

Enjoy!